Sermon

Rev. Robert A. Kem

Rector of St. Anne’s Ankeny

February 18, 2007

Ch. One: Choose to Forgive



Author Rev. Dennis Maynard says in his book Forgive and Get Your Life Back says, “There is no other arena where spiritual and psychological join hands so completely as in the process of forgiving and being forgiven.”



How would you define forgiveness? Forgiveness is to give up resentment against the desire to punish. To stop being angry with someone. To give up all claim to punish “be the judge” or exact a penalty for an offense against you. All are correct and all of these give us a look at what forgiveness really is.



The bumper sticker on the car read this “Don’t get mad, get even.” Seek out revenge.

We laugh. This thinking and behavior is what promotes psychological, physical and spiritual sickness. I was hurt. I resent it. I want to inflict pain and punishment for the hurt and humiliation that has been given to me. This is more common than not. This is human nature. Hollywood over the years has made billions of dollars on this motive of revenge. There is something that makes us feel good when someone who has hurt another person finally gets what is due to them.



Matthew 5:21-26 Jesus teaches; “You have heard it said by the men of old, you shall not kill, and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment. But, I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; but , I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says “you fool” shall be liable to the hell of fire.



So, if you are offering your gift to God at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift before the altar and go, first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.



Make friends with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. You will never get out until you pay the last penny.”



What does this mean? You can’t understand this passage until you answer this question. Do you accept what Christ did for you? He took the punishment for your sins and mine to the cross and asked for God’s forgiveness on your behalf. The whole earth’s debt is cleared by this action. Unless you think you are above it and the exception to the rule. The whole wealth of heaven and its forgiveness is ours. We are free. The prison door has opened.



Those who deny that this debt exists, or fails to acknowledge that our sin exists, do nothing to avail themselves of the payment made by Christ on the cross. That person must eventually face an unyielding judge and an everlasting prison.



Point #1. Unforgiveness produces the same sentence of unforgiveness upon us. Christ is the only one that has set us free from this bondage of unforgiveness. We must choose to forgive no matter how much hurt we have suffered.



Several years ago God taught me about the conscious decision to choose to forgive those who have brutally injured us during my first years in Scottsdale, Arizona as an Associate at St. Barnabas on the Desert.



I was called at the church to provide pastoral care to a family form out of town whose 20 year old son lay in a comatose condition in the hospital intensive care unit. This was a result of a serious motorcycle accident. The accident was a hit and run. Someone panicked and fled the scene leaving Justin in comatose fighting for his life.



Justin’s mother was from California and the first to be called. His father would be arriving from Houston with his second wife. I learned that his mom and dad had been divorced for about 10 years.



This was a very complicated family situation and the first time they had met together face to face. As the family was arriving I could see the shock that paralyzed everyone. Justin was 20 and an academic scholar. He had completed college early at 20 and was one his way to a full ride to UCLA in the fall to complete a Doctorate Program in Science. He was a brilliant, young adult, handsome and had everything going for him.



The shock of the situation created a great deal of anxiety and questions from the family members.

Why did this happen?

What did Justin do to deserve this?

Why us as a family?

What are we going to do next?

How are we ever going to get through this?



Life seemed to be spinning out of control. Finally someone asked who was responsible for this? We don’t know. This was a hit and run and the person fled from the scene. Some one thought they saw a lady in a white car flee the scene.



The emotional pain and suffering was incredible. The comment was made, I would like to find out the person who did this and get even. Everyone felt like a victim and no one knew exactly what had happened.



After several hours together in the waiting room and much conversation the father stood and embraced his first wife. Apologies started to happen. There were apologies from the past and the present. They forgave each other. The unforgiveness which had held them in bandage from the past suddenly set free their relationship.



Point #2 Step one is forgiveness and step two is reconciliation. The forgiveness of Justin’s mom and dad was moving into the second step of the journey of forgiveness which is reconciliation. The two had reconciled or brought back into harmony many differences in their former relationship. Now, restoration, complete restoration, could never happen. They could not go back 10 years into that former marriage and restore things the way they were, but the first two steps had taken place. Right in front of the rest of the family these steps in the forgiveness process were taking place.



During the next few days there were many hours of waiting but no improvements with Justin. The doctors came to the waiting room and said there were no brain waves and he advised the family to turn off the life support and Justin would not live for long if they did this.



The family was again in silence and the phone rang in the waiting room. Justine’s mom went and picked up the phone. “Yes, this is the Miller family. No, there is no change in Justin’s condition. He is comatose. Hello, who is this please?”



Justin’s mom stood silent. The person on the other end of the phone was an older lady inquiring as to Justin’s medical condition but would not identify herself. Justin’s mom sensed this lady to be the one who hit Justin and ran from the scene.

Suddenly anger hit the room again. If we could only get her here to see how much we have suffered so she could suffer too. Many family members expressed their rage with this person.



After an hour or so Justin’s mom suggested we go and pray for Justin and the decision to turn off the life support. The scene was tense and we all took hold of our hands so we made a full circle around Justin’s bed and we first prayed the Lord’s Prayer. Then each person was tasked to say their good byes to Justin and express how much he meant to them.



All prayed for peace and resolution to this tragedy. Others prayed for strength to get us through this loss. Justin’s mother prayed a prayer that was to teach me about forgiveness in a way that I had never understood me before.



“Lord we love Justin so much and we now turn his life back over to you. We thank you for the past 20 years and all that he showed us that was good and courageous. We now pray for the suffering to be over. We pray especially for the woman who I talked to on the phone just now and the suffering that she must be going through. Please we ask that you have her suffer no more. Please forgiven her for hitting my son as we all forgive her.”



I was speechless. I realized for the first time. I was standing on holy ground. The Kingdom of heaven and God’s true forgiveness had broken through to me.

Point # three I understood what forgiving and getting your life back really meant.

Justin’s approaching death and this situation of circumstances had moved his mom and dad towards forgiveness and reconciliation for one another and their relationship. Now, his mother was willing to offer forgiveness to he a second person who had injured her life and had caused such pain to the family.



Forgiveness is a step by step process. It can be accomplished only one step at a time. It had taken 10 years for this to happen.



Forgiveness is a gift that we have been given by God in Christ. It is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others “if we choose to do so”. Forgiveness brings healing and sets us free.



The death of Justin showed to us the power of choosing forgiveness. His mother had exercised the freedom to forgive and the act of unleashing the forgiveness of heaven here on earth and it happened right before our eyes.



The power of choosing to send forgiveness instead of anger and revenge set everyone of us free by her prayer. The tension lifted and there was peace to this whole situation and even more happening right before our eyes.



“Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”



Truly forgiveness had come to earth in the intensive care room that day. It had come to the Miller family through Justin’s mother and we were all changed by her prayer.



Let us pray “Lord God, you paid for my debt of sin on the cross by permitting your Son Jesus to take upon his shoulders the sins of the world. Your forgiveness of me has set me free. Your forgiveness of me now calls me to choose to forgive others so that I too may set them free and myself free from any bondage that might exist.

We pray for this in Christ’s name who came that we might be given life and life abundantly and so we may be healed in spirit, mind and body, through Christ Our Lord. ” Amen.